by Josh Newcombe
The Zombie who answered questions about life, love and, well... zombies, for Duck Logic Comedy's Blog (www.ducklogiccomedy.com) was apparently killed in that little forest-like area behind the Olinoy Outlet Mall last weekend. Local teen, Jack Farber, who found him said "His head was here, and the rest of him was way over there. It was sooo coooool!"
"We've been keeping an eye on him ever since we realized he might actually be a zombie," said Olinoy police chief, Stan Oleffson, "or at least since some of the crazy people who live here starting believing he was."
"We told him time and time again not to hang out in that little forest-like area at night. Nothing good ever happens in that spot. We're always finding body parts, spattered blood and what-not in there."
When asked what happened to the zombie's body & head, Chief Stan stated, "That guy always said in his column that he'd come back quickly if you killed him, so just in case he does, we put him in an old trunk I had and shipped him out to Melbourne, Australia. If he's tellin' the truth my ex-wife is in for a big surprise."
It's been nearly six weeks since the last zombie beheading in the Olinoy area. I think we can safely say, the zombie fungus is finally starting to die down. I for one am thrilled about it, as I've always been more of a vampire fan. Grab a hunk or two of garlic and a cross, or maybe a cross made from garlic braids, and you're good to go. With zombies you gotta be on the lookout all the time, so good riddance.
In a related story a representative of Duck Logic Comedy said they will soon be debuting a brand new column called "Talk With A Sasquatch."