 The tasteless leather sofa in the unmemorable apartment complex may be more than just an eyesore.
The Sofa Sage says the only thing standing between us and the Russians is a thin strip of land and a piece of water that's hardly worth mentioning. What else will this fiery combination of Nostradamus, Isaiah, and Fred in marketing provide for our worldview? Sure, he looks like a guy you'd ignore at sparsely attended after hours get togethers, but once you get past the stunned look and bland wardrobe you know you are dealing with more than a tech troubleshooter in quality control. More details on this phenomena as they come into our headquarters.  New this Easter… Cambell's Jelly Beans & Franks!
It's tough during the Easter season to get kids to eat anything other than candy, so why fight 'em? Cambell's Jelly Beans & Franks gives them what they want, while making sure they still get enough protein to keep 'em running strong! And adults like 'em too! Jelly Beans & Franks… Happy Easter, from Cambell's! Happy Good Friday everybody! Time for Jesus to try on a new chapeau…
 New Poly/Cotton Candy!
Instead of pure sugar, poly/cotton candy is spun from a blend of sugar and Splendida®, the new artificial sweetener made from scientifically natural… uhhhh… stuff! Poly/Cotton Candy holds its shape bite after bite, costs a lot less than its name-sake and won't spoil anyone's dinner with a lot of useless calories. Plus all the lab tests we've paid for show only a slightly long list of side-effects occurring so far! New Poly/Cotton Candy, they'll never know the difference... at least not for a good long time.  From The Desk Of Walter’s Brain:
I never took advanced placement classes in school. No honors English. No AP Biology. I was definitely not a candidate for skipping a grade. In fact, in some cases, I kind of went in the other direction. But the conventional wisdom goes like this: “Whoa, Johnny’s doing really well in Freshman Algebra. He’s acing all his tests, 104% on everything he does. He understands the theories easily, absorbs information like a sponge. He’s way ahead of any other kid in his class.” The conventional solution for Johnny’s terrible predicament goes like this: “Since Johnny’s doing so incredibly well, sailing through his present level, it obviously means he’s not being ‘challenged’ by the work. Learning what’s expected of him and getting straight A’s must be boring to poor Johnny. Let’s pull Johnny out of that tedious, ol’, age-appropriate, Freshman class and stick him into a more ‘advanced,’ more ‘stimulating’ Sophomore class.” In other words: let’s take Johnny out of an environment where he’s far superior to everyone around him, a situation where he can excel, and artificially introduce him into a new environment where he’s just average again. Congratulations Johnny, you’ve just been rewarded! (Said the kid in remedial reading.) I think… therefore I am an anomaly. Weather reports may say otherwise but today is the Vernal Equinox,
the first day of Spring and the signs are all around… |
Subscribe –
|
RSS Feed