REPRINTED FROM THE OLINOY REPORTER FRIDAY OCT. 25, 2013
Harvey in his NüBorne Chemical uniform. by Josh Newcombe
Harvey Brittane of Teidmont, IL pulled off a real first last Sunday evening when his ebay auction closed and he had successfully sold… his soul.
"I'm soooooo glad I didn't go with a Fixed Price Sale," Harvey exclaimed. " It went for much more than anyone I know thought it was worth." Apparently a bidding war started and the price just kept going up. "Man those demons are really obsessed beings."
I asked how he knew it was demons doing the bidding. "I don't really believe in that stuff, so I thought it was a joke at first. But then they showed up at the door wanting my signature in blood. Blood! None of my other ebay customers have ever done that, so I got a little suspicious. But then I remembered you can really wreck your seller feedback if you don't deliver as promised, so I went through with it."
The soul sold for a total of $666.00. Which seemed a little too "on the money" to me, but Harvey said it wasn't a coincidence, when it hit that price they moved the bidding war to a sort of "back door" auction with the demons emailing him offers and counter offers for things other than money.
"I was hoping against hope for maybe a used car or something when I saw this new development," he added, "But now I've got a great management level job at NüBorne Chemical just south of Olinoy, with yearly raises, bonuses, a retirement program, medical and dental benefits, and a bunch of lower paid people around who do all the real work for me. Plus I've got a nice house in a gated community. And you know those hot woman like you see on TV? They're finally interested in me. It's pretty cool."
When I asked him what gave him the idea to sell his soul on ebay, he said "Well, the damned thing was just sitting around collecting dust. I wasn't using it for anything, hell, now I don't know why I held onto it for this long."
Harvey Brittane of Teidmont, IL pulled off a real first last Sunday evening when his ebay auction closed and he had successfully sold… his soul.
"I'm soooooo glad I didn't go with a Fixed Price Sale," Harvey exclaimed. " It went for much more than anyone I know thought it was worth." Apparently a bidding war started and the price just kept going up. "Man those demons are really obsessed beings."
I asked how he knew it was demons doing the bidding. "I don't really believe in that stuff, so I thought it was a joke at first. But then they showed up at the door wanting my signature in blood. Blood! None of my other ebay customers have ever done that, so I got a little suspicious. But then I remembered you can really wreck your seller feedback if you don't deliver as promised, so I went through with it."
The soul sold for a total of $666.00. Which seemed a little too "on the money" to me, but Harvey said it wasn't a coincidence, when it hit that price they moved the bidding war to a sort of "back door" auction with the demons emailing him offers and counter offers for things other than money.
"I was hoping against hope for maybe a used car or something when I saw this new development," he added, "But now I've got a great management level job at NüBorne Chemical just south of Olinoy, with yearly raises, bonuses, a retirement program, medical and dental benefits, and a bunch of lower paid people around who do all the real work for me. Plus I've got a nice house in a gated community. And you know those hot woman like you see on TV? They're finally interested in me. It's pretty cool."
When I asked him what gave him the idea to sell his soul on ebay, he said "Well, the damned thing was just sitting around collecting dust. I wasn't using it for anything, hell, now I don't know why I held onto it for this long."
RSS Feed