REPRINTED FROM THE OLINOY REPORTER, FRIDAY, AUGUST 23, 2013.
by Josh Newcombe
Edgar Wiggenhorn of Olinoy, IL, stopped watching an important ball game this past weekend to help his wife, Sarah, with the vacuum cleaner. It had simply stopped sucking. She was worried they'd have to take it in for repair, reminding Ed that, "at this point we can't really afford any extra… anythings!"
Ed replaced the bag, which really needed it, but still couldn't get any suction. He changed the filter, still no suction. "I even tried the old whack it on the side with your fist plan that works with so many things," said Ed, "but nope, no suction. "
"The whole thing felt like some strange troll riddle. What really sucks when it doesn't suck at all? I had the answer right in my hands, but that didn't make the vacuum work." While pondering whether this meant anything or not, Ed inadvertently slipped his finger inside the hose and it hit something. "Something very soft, but also very solid," Ed pointed out.
"I grabbed the old poking stick I keep around for situations just like this and poked it through the other end of the hose. Out came this huge, ugly wad of hair. Some human, some feline, and some I don't know what. I don't mind tellin' you it had a me a little creeped out considering all the spiders we've sucked up with that vacuum! There could be a whole army of those guys holed up in that mess, so I put it into the trash pretty quick."
Sarah was so thrilled she not only thanked Edgar, but told him he was out of the doghouse. "I didn't even know I was IN the doghouse," confided Ed, who decided to just be happy with his good fortune and return to his game, which hadn't really changed much since he left it.
Edgar Wiggenhorn of Olinoy, IL, stopped watching an important ball game this past weekend to help his wife, Sarah, with the vacuum cleaner. It had simply stopped sucking. She was worried they'd have to take it in for repair, reminding Ed that, "at this point we can't really afford any extra… anythings!"
Ed replaced the bag, which really needed it, but still couldn't get any suction. He changed the filter, still no suction. "I even tried the old whack it on the side with your fist plan that works with so many things," said Ed, "but nope, no suction. "
"The whole thing felt like some strange troll riddle. What really sucks when it doesn't suck at all? I had the answer right in my hands, but that didn't make the vacuum work." While pondering whether this meant anything or not, Ed inadvertently slipped his finger inside the hose and it hit something. "Something very soft, but also very solid," Ed pointed out.
"I grabbed the old poking stick I keep around for situations just like this and poked it through the other end of the hose. Out came this huge, ugly wad of hair. Some human, some feline, and some I don't know what. I don't mind tellin' you it had a me a little creeped out considering all the spiders we've sucked up with that vacuum! There could be a whole army of those guys holed up in that mess, so I put it into the trash pretty quick."
Sarah was so thrilled she not only thanked Edgar, but told him he was out of the doghouse. "I didn't even know I was IN the doghouse," confided Ed, who decided to just be happy with his good fortune and return to his game, which hadn't really changed much since he left it.
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