by Charlie "Two Snacks" Roscoe
OK, I don't usually write for the obituary pages, and they don't usually print full stories. But I felt like I had a horse in this particular race so I petitioned to write this myself. And since nobody's died in Olinoy this week, they let me do it.
I gotta say, this is one buccaneer that'll soon be drowning in more than a few rum and colas, me heartys. Because only 2 1/2 months after opening, Cheesy Pete's Pizza Palace is drawing her bridge, weighing her anchor and closing her doors on Friday night.
And for that one night, believe it or not, you can call it "Cheesy Pete's Fish Fry Friday Palace," because Pete is completely out of pizza ingredients. "Something went wrong with the supply truck on the way to us from Chicago." he told us. "But, lucky for us, back when it was open, Frank's Fish and Chips only got a fish delivery every 3 months because this boat has a really big freezer on the lower deck. Their fish guy never got the message they closed, so we accepted the delivery. We may have got no pizza, but boy have we got fish."
Pete's planning to serve a lot of fish on his last day open to, as he put it, "try to at least make something off this money pit." So, YES, there WILL once again be a Fish Fry Friday at Retention Pond Lake. With Pete's luck, everybody will finally be ordering pizzas. But I'll be rooting for you, Pete!
Also I wanted to take a moment to offer a public thank you to Marty Bloorshky, who recently returned my beautiful pirate waitress statue stolen by his son, Roger and his pals as a prank. Marty told me he took one look at what his son had taken, and he knew somebody would be sorely missing her, because he certainly would be. Well Marty, Pete said he'd let his go for cheap if you're interested. Anyway now that Cheesy P's is closing, she's all I'll have left, so thanks, buddy. I wish there were more dads out there like you.
And Roger. i'll be looking forward to seeing you and your lawn mower the next 6 weekends. I like it short, neat, and at an angle to the street.