by Josh Newcombe
The midwest has long been the place for product trials, testing and marketing research. If they love it here, they'll love it anywhere, or so the account teams are fond of saying. New products of all kinds get their start in Illinois, Indiana and Ohio. Once proven they roll out to the rest of the country. Even producers wanting to open a big Broadway show do it first in Chicago, working out all the kinks before taking it to NY. It makes sense, all these things are costly and they wanna make sure there's gonna be a profit.
Well it was only a matter of time before big retailers started taking the cue. Opening this weekend, right here in Olinoy, "Bed, Bath & Beyoncé" is the first "improvement" in what they hope will be a huge change for the retail chain.
"Everything inside the store is what Beyoncé would have in her own bed, bath... and beyond!" claims the advance promo. I find it hard to believe the singing celebrity would ever even set foot in the place but BB&B is trying to make the world believe otherwise.
Arthur Stark, president of BB&B, said: "We made the sign before we realized she uses an accent on the last "e" in her name. Who keeps up with that kinda thing? Anyway, if we go nationwide with it we'll add the accent, if not then we'll save a few dollars."
So if if's your destiny, child, then get out to Olinoy this weekend, get your picture taken with a life-size cut out of the bootylicious star, and be part of the first folks in the country to sample BB&B's new wares. Because I have my doubts that the country's going to be crazy in love with this idea. Hey, if Pepsi couldn't make it work…..