- Rob Ford. Never has anybody gotten so much mileage out of one Ford.
This guy is still the mayor of Toronto. The mayor of Toronto, people. He's not the mayor of some town in Yellowknife or Alberta where nobody would care if the guy was using crack or tackling city council members. He runs the city that has been home to some of the most significant cultural parts of Canada for the last half century. Wait, this is Canada we're talking about, so significant probably means anything that involves curling and Gordon Lightfoot. Actually, we are grateful that Rob Ford is the mayor of Toronto because like half the population, he also acts like he got kicked out of Detroit and exiled to the land of Oatmeal soap and decent health care.
-Miley Cyrus- She's just a twerking girl with a tongue that looks like a hideous combination of Gene Simmons and that dog that always wins the world's ugliest mutt contest. Miley taught us that the American public will buy anything if it's wrapped in the right package. Like the porn package the creepy guy down the street gets on his cable bundle.
-Selfies- Who doesn't like a photo of themselves? Everyone likes a photo of themselves, if by photo you mean picture taken by a device that makes everyone look like they're in that old movie The Blair Witch Trials, which was only half as scary as the fact that some people think this is the height of entertainment or connecting with people. Selfies are the photographic equivalent of waiting for the other person to stop talking so you can address serious issues, like the latest events in your life.
Finally we are thankful for all of our readers and blog fans- Without you we would simply spend more time on facebook or twitter or instagram or tumblr or any of a hundred desperate ways we want others to recognize our existence. We know that all of this is like the drunk fans behind the sports reporter at the live remote: lots of waving and shouting for no apparent reason.
Happy Thanksgiving, DLC fans. Save some leftovers for us and don't fall asleep with your hand in your pants. Leave that to your Mom or that lady you still insist on calling Mom.