I'm the little angry guy who fights the fights you can't fight because you don't know how to fight the people in power. A letter came across my desk the other day from one of you little guys who had to fight city hall and our mighty mayor.
This letter described the way the city had given this fellow the runaround. I don't need to tell you that it involved parking tickets, licensing fees, patronage jobs, school closings, private contracts, park district shenanigans, and a whole laundry list of problems that I can't go into right now without getting even angrier than the photo that accompanies this column.
I decided to do something about this letter and I immediately made a call to city hall. I let it ring three times before leaving a message with a number where they could reach me between the hours of 9 am and 1 pm on Mondays and every other Thursday. Needless to say, I didn't hear anything from city hall. Not even Mayor Moves His Mouth had any comment. I decided to send a letter through a bike courier with a title on top that spoke volumes: Open at your convenience! I think they knew this wasn't going to end in their favor or any time soon, so one of the city hall rats sent a letter through the US Postal service that was marked with the cryptic message " Undeliverable due to insufficient funds". I guess they had read my column on the waterfront project and the Mayoral Campaign For Insufficient Funds, because the only time somebody from city hall sends a response by US mail is when they know it needs to be there within a week or ten days and they can't get one of the stool pigeons at the other paper to write some PR column.
I know how to fight city hall and I will do it for you if I have the time and there's nothing more important on the agenda, like fighting big business, tall orders, large conspiracies and overgrown government. Remember, I am always here for you, the little guy, and I'm angry on top of it. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it unless you are trying to quit. Oh, by the way, you know what happened to that letter about city hall? It ended with a nice form letter from the hooligans at city hall that actually had the signature of the mayor on the bottom. That's called getting results. For now.
This letter described the way the city had given this fellow the runaround. I don't need to tell you that it involved parking tickets, licensing fees, patronage jobs, school closings, private contracts, park district shenanigans, and a whole laundry list of problems that I can't go into right now without getting even angrier than the photo that accompanies this column.
I decided to do something about this letter and I immediately made a call to city hall. I let it ring three times before leaving a message with a number where they could reach me between the hours of 9 am and 1 pm on Mondays and every other Thursday. Needless to say, I didn't hear anything from city hall. Not even Mayor Moves His Mouth had any comment. I decided to send a letter through a bike courier with a title on top that spoke volumes: Open at your convenience! I think they knew this wasn't going to end in their favor or any time soon, so one of the city hall rats sent a letter through the US Postal service that was marked with the cryptic message " Undeliverable due to insufficient funds". I guess they had read my column on the waterfront project and the Mayoral Campaign For Insufficient Funds, because the only time somebody from city hall sends a response by US mail is when they know it needs to be there within a week or ten days and they can't get one of the stool pigeons at the other paper to write some PR column.
I know how to fight city hall and I will do it for you if I have the time and there's nothing more important on the agenda, like fighting big business, tall orders, large conspiracies and overgrown government. Remember, I am always here for you, the little guy, and I'm angry on top of it. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it unless you are trying to quit. Oh, by the way, you know what happened to that letter about city hall? It ended with a nice form letter from the hooligans at city hall that actually had the signature of the mayor on the bottom. That's called getting results. For now.
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