Dear Zombie,
My daughter is bringing her zombie boyfriend over for dinner this Thursday night. What in the world should I have on the menu? I don't want to offend him as we love our daughter very much. Plus what kind of things could we possibly we talk about? Please help! - CULINARILY CHALLENGED
Dear CC,
He wants to impress you because he wants to impress your daughter, so he'll nibble at whatever you serve. It's just an old wive's tale that live humans are all we eat. It's a favorite to be sure, but we'll eat just about anything. In fact the only thing we won't touch is another zombie. So, leave that off the menu and you'll be just fine. And hey, you're the parents, and this is your home turf, so sit back and let him worry about how to make the conversation happen. You just might find out he's really the right zombie for your daughter after all.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Dear Zombie,
How do we know you're a real zombie? Because you've got a picture there by your column of what looks like a zombie!? How do we even know that's you, let alone a real zombie? Sure, I got questions for a zombie, but I want proof that you really are one before I go spillin' my guts to you. - DOUBTING THOMAS
Dear Thomas,
I get this one a lot so I thought I'd finally answer it. And it's this: What proof, in writing, could I ever possibly offer you, or anybody? Let's see… that's my picture all right. Hmmm, I'm definitely a zombie. Impressed yet? I didn't think so. This is what it comes down to for me: When the zombies you're hanging out with aren't trying to bite you then you're probably… a zombie! That's Zombie 101. If these are still just empty words on a computer page, to you, then all I can say is I'll be in that little forest-like area behind the Olinoy Oultet Mall, every night this weekend after hours, doing... uh… errands. I'll be happy to offer you the kind of first hand proof you're looking for, so you can feel free to spill your guts all over the place.
(ED. Note: If you'd like to Talk With the Zombie, just head over to our CONTACT page and addres your question to "Dear Zombie" in the comment box!)
My daughter is bringing her zombie boyfriend over for dinner this Thursday night. What in the world should I have on the menu? I don't want to offend him as we love our daughter very much. Plus what kind of things could we possibly we talk about? Please help! - CULINARILY CHALLENGED
Dear CC,
He wants to impress you because he wants to impress your daughter, so he'll nibble at whatever you serve. It's just an old wive's tale that live humans are all we eat. It's a favorite to be sure, but we'll eat just about anything. In fact the only thing we won't touch is another zombie. So, leave that off the menu and you'll be just fine. And hey, you're the parents, and this is your home turf, so sit back and let him worry about how to make the conversation happen. You just might find out he's really the right zombie for your daughter after all.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Dear Zombie,
How do we know you're a real zombie? Because you've got a picture there by your column of what looks like a zombie!? How do we even know that's you, let alone a real zombie? Sure, I got questions for a zombie, but I want proof that you really are one before I go spillin' my guts to you. - DOUBTING THOMAS
Dear Thomas,
I get this one a lot so I thought I'd finally answer it. And it's this: What proof, in writing, could I ever possibly offer you, or anybody? Let's see… that's my picture all right. Hmmm, I'm definitely a zombie. Impressed yet? I didn't think so. This is what it comes down to for me: When the zombies you're hanging out with aren't trying to bite you then you're probably… a zombie! That's Zombie 101. If these are still just empty words on a computer page, to you, then all I can say is I'll be in that little forest-like area behind the Olinoy Oultet Mall, every night this weekend after hours, doing... uh… errands. I'll be happy to offer you the kind of first hand proof you're looking for, so you can feel free to spill your guts all over the place.
(ED. Note: If you'd like to Talk With the Zombie, just head over to our CONTACT page and addres your question to "Dear Zombie" in the comment box!)
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