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Talk With A Zombie

6/9/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Deer Zomby,
Me am zommie too. Me want job lyk you. How arrrgh get one? Me have thoughts in head to share and me am hungry and tired of all time fighting for brains. Bruuugh. World no kind to zomby like me. Harrarghgh. How me get in bizness? Am thair union me can join? – ZOMBY GUY


Dear Guy,
It's not as easy as you might think. If you can't pass yourself as of one of them it can be very hard. I made my contacts at a Halloween party. They were a bit surprised when I wore my "costume" to work, but I deliver the goods so no one questions it. It sounds to me like you are missing a large portion of your own brain, so a job like mine might not be the right placement for you. Have you considered a career in politics? 
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Dear Zombie,
There's a big blockbuster movie with Brad Pitt coming out soon called World War Z. What do know about it? Any truth at all to what I'll see on screen? – UNBELIEVER

Dear Unbeliever,
I had a small role as an "extra" in that film. In fact most zombies do extra work in the industry. All I can say is that while we do move a lot faster than most movies would have you believe, which we don't like the general public to know about, WWZ is just one big fantasy. We don't roll across areas like an ocean wave, and we don't clump together much either. It's a whole lot easier hunting "live ones" when we keep it down to two or three of us together at a time, that way we don't have to split the spoils up as thinly.  Hope that helps.



(Ed. Note: Do you have a question for the Zombie? Write to us through the Duck Logic Comedy Contact page and address your question "Dear Zombie!")

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