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Talk With A Zombie

5/16/2013

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Picture
Dear Zombie,
My parents say my zombie boyfriend doesn't really care about me and I shouldn't see him anymore. They think he's only after my fat thighs and brain. What should I do? – CHUBBY WITH A GOOD HEAD ON HER SHOULDERS

Dear Chubby,
Let your parents spend an evening alone with your boyfriend to get to know him better. They'll either change their minds… or lose 'em!  Rarrrgh. But no matter which, your relationship will be good to go. And if he is after your fat thighs, then let him at 'em. You'll never find a quicker weight loss program. Bwaarghghgh.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — 
Dear Zombie,

I found a baby zombie behind the local grocery store and my parents won't let me keep him. They say I still haven't learned responsibility. They complain about walking the dog and feeding the fish, and they don't wanna have to take care of a zombie child too, but he's sooooo cute. What now? – DESPERATE FOR A NEW PET

Dear Desperate,
Rarrwwgh. Father's Day is coming up… I think you found the perfect gift..

(Ed. note: Do you need to Talk With A Zombie? Address your questions to "Dear Zombie" through the Duck Logic Comedy contact page! )


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