Jeff the Caffeinated Squirrel, is leaving behind the stable life of Hills Brothers Community College so that he can explore the endless possibilities of mascottery at Stanford University. Jeff, also known as Chip Allen from Tanner, Vermont, is the recipient of a research grant from a well known think tank that chooses to remain silent on this matter for some unknown reason.
The grant will allow Jeff to pursue a lifelong dream of finding the genetic code that makes some mascots and others water boys or that guy who appears next to the mascot at public appearances and jaycee events. If successful, these findings could revolutionize the world of mascotting or force alot of dateless graduate students to permanently move back with their unpleasantly surprised parents.
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