Our eucalyptus eating friend simply wants to hang on his branch, enjoy the world of marsupials, and forget that Crocodile Dundee or Cate Blanchette ever existed.
He is not responsible for the Australian Bee Gees Show currently touring America. He has never had a shrimp on the barbie, and he can't tell you why Australia hasn't had a good female tennis player since Evonne Goolagong, or what they serve at Outback. Please, remember, if you run into our friend, that he is not some cute animal that can magically answer any questions about Australia or the continent known for being founded as a prison colony. On behalf of Koala Bears, everywhere, we thank you for your consideration.