Singing Santas at The Mall: This annual surprise is never planned ahead of time and the results are still worth the wait when the security detail shows up with billy clubs and a low sense of self. Don't miss the mumbling of the Hallelujah chorus as if it was sung by your dad and his pals on a bender at the company Christmas get together.
The Half Assed Holiday Lights of The Town That Almost Gives A Shit: You know who we're talking about because they're only a ten minute drive from your house and they've been up for the last ten years without any sign of ever coming down. Be sure to be there when the mayor and the local marching band sort of announce the start of the holiday season with a half hearted reading of The Night Before Xmas and the new parking regulations on Maine Street.
The Nutcracker Drill Performed by The Local High School Football Team in Tights: It is what it says, a bunch of adolescent males, with nothing to do but dress in tights and this years' football jerseys, run through an excruciating set of practice exercises to the seasonal accompaniment of Tchaikovsky and his ballet tribute to the onset of childhood schizophrenia and inappropriate placement of bulges.
And you can end it all at The Town Shopping Place where everything is still overpriced but not made by the slave labor of that place that begins with Wal and ends with Mart.
Happy Holiday Happenings from the people at the DLC Events Desk