I haven't been writing my column on a regular basis because some people at this blog think I am turning the page over to rants about my cuckolded son and his less than upstanding wife. Well, I should rephrase that last part. She's less than upstanding only when she isn't up standing near a stripper pole. But more on that later readers. It's just so comforting to know that censorship exists in the least likely places. I mean I thought these boys had a sense of humor, but the memos from legal and corporate seem to disagree with yours truly. Anyway, here's some thoughts on some items that crossed my desk since we last got together over a hot cup of coffee and a cease and desist letter.
Ladies, never wear anything too revealing in public. You want to remain a mystery that he wants to read and that tramp stamp is only going to send him back to his Nook for another book. That goes double for former strippers who have not aged well.
Every mother needs to know that your children are your ticket to the greatest moments in life, providing the ticket is not printed out on cheap business card stock and obviously a fake.
Women know that being a Mom requires the ability to juggle home, work and community like they were those bowling pins and you were one of those street performers who bother you every time you try to enjoy an art festival or a free block party that has been crashed by the people in the next block over. But enough about that trash.
I should end my column with a bit of advice about outdoor entertaining and making your guest list. Friends are fine when you wine and dine. Family are fun if it's one and done. Former stripper daughter in laws give one plenty to pause when sons won't take direction on public displays of affection.
Well, ladies I have a meeting with my attorney to attend and some calls to make when it comes to taking care of this little issue about my column and the many times we need A Mother's Perspective.