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CHIP'S QUIPS WITH CHIP KOOTER

8/17/2013

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It's your old pal, Chip back with another quip about the folks in Kooterville.   I'll tell you what, that place is full of fascinating individuals with all kinds of stories to tell.  Today I wanted to tell you about Kooterville Kate, the waitress who remembers names more than orders.

It seems Kate was going to school to become a Dental Hygiene Assistant or some other college girl dream, when she ran into a wall known as personal debt and failing grades.   Now, Kate is one of the smartest ladies in Kooterville when it comes to thinking up stuff and sticking to it.  She just has a hard time remembering when to pay her bills and what table 14 ordered ten minutes ago.  I swear you wouldn' think short term memory problems would interfere with the world of waitressing, but it does.  Just ask Kate.

I remember one time in particular this fella from Fred's Quarry orders two eggs sunnyside up, a side order of bacon, extra crispy and a cup of coffee with two sugars.  That's pretty easy to take care of, especially if you write it down on your order form.    Well, Kate turns up at the table 10 minutes later with two sugars sunnyside up, a side order of coffee with two extra crispy eggs, and a look on her face that said "hell if I know what happened".   Turns out Kate can't read her own writing and she's dyslexic on top of it.  When it rains it pours and sometimes the old clean out ain't working so well.
That Kate couldn't remember her name if it wasn't misspelled on her name tag.   What she lacks in the memory department is definitely made up in the smile department.  Kate's got a smile that would make a sad man happy for the rest of his life.   And can she remember names?  She can tell you every customer by name that ever sat in her section.   So can her boss, and he don't think that's something she should brag about to friends or potential customers.

Next week, we're going to meet  Wandering Willie, The Directionless Cab Driver.  Until next time, keep laughing at yourself before somebody laughs at you with their mouth full.

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