I think… therefore I am an anomaly.

Absinthe makes the heart go wander.

Some look at things the way they are and ask why, I dream of things that never were and ask, "who the hell's keeping this from happening!"

In the land of the blind, anyone can claim to be the one-eyed man.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but you catch the most with pure unadulterated bullshit.

Money can't buy you love, but it works pretty well if you're just looking to rent.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty,

I say "who the hell's been drinking out of my glass!"